Writing Headlines That Get You More Sales for Less Ad Spend (Part 2)

In part 1 we talked about how a great headline is like the first handshake in a business deal. It sets the tone, builds trust, and invites engagement.

But what happens when your “handshake” is weak, awkward, or confusing?

Your audience clicks away, leaving your headline—and your offer—ignored.

In this article, we’ll cover 5 common mistakes local business owners make when writing headlines and how to fix them. Avoid these pitfalls, and you’ll keep your readers hooked, engagements up, sales rolling in.

Mistake #1: Misleading Your Audience

We’ve all seen them—headlines that promise drama or deliver shocking claims, only for the content to fall flat.

Misleading headlines might grab attention initially, but they damage trust in the long run.

It’s like scamming people’s time. Not cool.

Example:

“Small Business Owner Doubled Revenue Overnight!”

…only to reveal they got lucky winning a lottery.

The Fix:

Be honest and descriptive. Your headline should match your content.

Instead of misleading, say:

“How This Business Owner Grew Revenue 20% with 3 Simple Changes.”

It’s still enticing but sets accurate expectations.

Mistake #2: Overpromising and Underdelivering

Calling your post the “Ultimate Guide” or the “Best Ever” without truly delivering can leave your readers feeling cheated. Overhype leads to disappointment—and lost credibility.

The Fix:

Use titles that match the depth of your content. If it’s a beginner’s guide, call it that. Reserve “Ultimate” for content that truly answers every question your audience might have.

Honesty always wins.

Mistake #3: Being Too Lengthy

A headline isn’t the place for a full lecture. Overloading it with details makes it confusing and hard to follow.

Example:

“10 Incredibly Effective Strategies for Boosting The Design And Value Of Your Home by 50% in 30 Days.”

The Fix:

Simplify your message. Stick to one idea per headline, like:

“10 Strategies to Boost Your Home’s Value in 30 Days.”

Keep it short, snappy, and easy to grasp.

Mistake #4: Using Too Much Jargon

When you’re knee-deep in your industry, it’s tempting to use fancy terms to sound authoritative. But for the average Joe, jargon can feel alienating and confusing.

Example:

“Leverage Gingival Regeneration Using Advanced Laser Periodontal Therapy”

The Fix:

Write like you’re talking to a friend. Replace jargon with clear, relatable language.

Try this instead:

“Improve Your Smile with Safe, Long-Lasting Gum Treatment With ZERO Pain”

Mistake #5: Being Bland and Uninspiring

Boring headlines are like empty storefronts—they fail to pull anyone in. If your headline doesn’t make people curious, why would they bother reading further?

Example:

“7 Tips for Business Success.”

The Fix:

Push for excitement and specificity:

“7 Tips That’ll Scale Your Business in 7 Days.”

The more vivid and enticing, the better.

Write Stronger Headlines and Get More Sales

A weak headline is like whispering in a noisy room—it gets ignored. Avoid these mistakes, craft clear and compelling titles, and watch your clicks (and sales) grow.

P.S. Want help perfecting your headlines? Fill out this form, and we’ll create a personalized strategy for your next campaign—no cost, no obligation.